Providence Cancer System

I am interested in learning from others how to support someone whose life has been shortened by cancer. My husband is still recovering from a surgery last July so many days he feels so weak and sick he sometimes sleeps all day. On good days I want to help him get some enjoyment from life. Does anyone else have experience with this?

Susan, I've been pondering your blog for days now. I want you to know I'm here for you. I just can't readily supply answers. When Jim has been in recovery mode, well, quite often his energy has been nonexistent. I think the most important thing is just to be there for him. Do what you need to do to live each day, but just keep him your priority and cherish each day that you have. There are resources that may provide some help. I volunteer at the Infusion Center in Centralia and will see what I can find for you. This week is taking a different turn. My mother passed away last Friday and we're (Jim and I) are putting things in place for her service this coming Friday in southern Oregon. I most likely won't be at the center this week, but definitely next week.

Take care, Susan. Know that you're in my thoughts and prayers.

When my husband was in the low/no energy mode, there were many days of just being in the house and the frustration for him of not being able to 'do anything' on our home was a constant drain. I realized one day that just getting out of the house for a drive on a sunny day was a help. That is when I began saving up some of the errands i could easily do on a quick trip, and encouraged him to go along with and even walking about Home Depot for light bulbs helped us both to feel like we had changed out the view and that helped.

I never thought a big box store would be such a good thing for exercise since I normally avoid them *smile*.

Both my parents passed with cancer. My mother passed at 45 with Breast Cancer and my father passed at 59 with pancreatic cancer.

Usually, it was the simpliest of things they enjoyed the most. My mother loved having a pedicure done, at home.

My dad on the other hand enjoyed going for short rides, to get out of the house. He also liked trying to keep daily routines on track. He would get dressed and be ready for the day. He could not eat, but he wanted to sit at the dinner table with the family during meals to listen to the conversations. A robust man that once had many ideas to share now sat before me in his frail body in deep thought that would slide into a nap. He was not able to talk much now, but conserved his strength to crack a smile that would light up the room. I would call him daily so he could sit on the phone and listen to me talk about nonsense, but that became a very important routine in his day. He also enjoyed sitting outside to feel the warmth of the sun on his skin, smell the fresh air, and listen to the songs of the birds or winds rustling the leaves of the trees. It really is the smaller things in life that had the most meaning and biggest impact.

Thank you for your comments. My husband and I are still in this process and most likely will be until there is no more living time. We do enjoy the simple things. Just being together means so much. We get out of the house when his energy level is up, but it does not take much to wipe him out. I so appreciate this blog site.