How do you deal with "unhelpful" comments from others?

Recently Providence Centralia Hospital's Director of Mission, Cathy Johnston and Providence Regional Cancer System consultant, Cobie Whitten were interviewed for an article in The Spokesman-Review titled "Offering comfort."

It's a great article, so we wanted to share. To read the article in full, click this link >>

Here's an excerpt:

Q. When I had breast cancer, several people told me about their mothers or sisters or friends who had difficult chemotherapy experiences or who died from their cancer. It was not helpful. Why do people do that?

A. “People respond out of their own fear of cancer and fear of death. Often their comments are a panic reaction,” said Cobie Whitten, a psycho-oncology consultant who works with cancer patients in Olympia.

People may be stunned to learn their friend’s news and their reactions default to what is familiar, instead of what is helpful. Many people still, wrongly, believe that a cancer diagnosis is synonymous with death, Whitten said.

And people may wonder what it means for them. Will they have to be a caregiver? Or will they lose their friend to this awful disease?

They manifest their own discomfort with inappropriate comments, instead of simply saying, “I am sorry this is happening to you.”

When Catherine Johnston confided in a colleague that she was taking several weeks off for cancer treatment, the woman replied, “I have news, too. I’m getting a new job!” Johnston stood up and left the room.

We'd love to hear from you. Do you have advice to add? Would you like to share your own story? Please feel free to leave us a note in the comments section.