How do you deal with "unhelpful" comments from others?

Recently Providence Centralia Hospital's Director of Mission, Cathy Johnston and Providence Regional Cancer System consultant, Cobie Whitten were interviewed for an article in The Spokesman-Review titled "Offering comfort."

It's a great article, so we wanted to share. To read the article in full, click this link >>

Here's an excerpt:

Q. When I had breast cancer, several people told me about their mothers or sisters or friends who had difficult chemotherapy experiences or who died from their cancer. It was not helpful. Why do people do that?

A. “People respond out of their own fear of cancer and fear of death. Often their comments are a panic reaction,” said Cobie Whitten, a psycho-oncology consultant who works with cancer patients in Olympia.

People may be stunned to learn their friend’s news and their reactions default to what is familiar, instead of what is helpful. Many people still, wrongly, believe that a cancer diagnosis is synonymous with death, Whitten said.

And people may wonder what it means for them. Will they have to be a caregiver? Or will they lose their friend to this awful disease?

They manifest their own discomfort with inappropriate comments, instead of simply saying, “I am sorry this is happening to you.”

When Catherine Johnston confided in a colleague that she was taking several weeks off for cancer treatment, the woman replied, “I have news, too. I’m getting a new job!” Johnston stood up and left the room.

We'd love to hear from you. Do you have advice to add? Would you like to share your own story? Please feel free to leave us a note in the comments section.

Cancer 101: A new resource for everyone

Cancer 101: Basics and beyond

Providence Regional Cancer System invites patients at all stages of treatment to attend a complimentary dinner event with our team of cancer experts.

From diagnosis to treatment and more, you'll learn what to expect as you navigate the path ahead. Resources will be available, plus time to ask questions.

Bring a guest! RSVP at www.provregister.org or by calling 360.412.8949

Providence Centralia Hospital
Basement Classroom
Monday, Feb. 6, 6-8 pm

Providence St. Peter Hospital
2nd Floor, 200 Rooms
Wednesday, Feb. 8, 6-8 pm

7 'take charge' tips from our new breast cancer navigator, Andrea Potter, RN

Welcome breast cancer navigator Andrea Potter, RN!Many of you may already know or recognize me because I have been caring for cancer patients in the community for the past eight years. The Providence Regional Cancer System is like family to me. I began my nursing career here and know the doctors, the staff and the community.

In recognition of Breast Cancer Awareness month, I want you to feel empowered as your own health advocate. Remember that you are not just a patient, but that you are the customer and should be made comfortable and happy. Here are some ‘take charge’ tips:

• Simplify things by keeping a journal and calendar to track symptoms and appointments.
• Be honest with your doctor about how you’ve been adhering to your treatment plan.
• It’s ok to seek a second opinion.
• Keep your own medical file and request copies of your records.
• Let me help you with practical problems that can get in the way like temporary housing, transportation or financial support.
• Take care of your emotional health by using counseling or integrative therapies.
• Keep up on changes in breast cancer research.

I am here for you throughout this journey, and the sky’s the limit to the resources I can help you access and support I can provide.

Advice from Bob: A patient's top tips

Editor’s Note: The following article was developed by a Providence Regional Cancer System patient, Robert R. Largen and his wife/editor Rosemary Shold. Bob received a diagnosis of “stage four, non-smoking, Agent Orange induced, lung cancer on October 31, 2001.” Below are some of his top tips for how he personally manages his cancer. The views reflected below are his own. If you’d like add your own tips, please leave a note in the comments.

1. Have someone accompany you to any doctor’s appointments or consultations. This person will help you absorb all the information that comes at you. Take notes.
2. Repeat back to the nurse or doctor any instructions that are given to you. Follow the instructions as closely as you can.
3. If possible, have a health professional other than the treating doctors and nurses guide you through the process. (Editor’s Note: Bob has a daughter Catherine, who is also an RN. There are many resources like this in our community, please don’t be afraid to ask if you’d like to be directed to one).
4. Keep a daily log of your health. It is a helpful resource when the nurse and doctors ask, “How is the patient doing?” And, “When did the symptoms start?” We found that the combination of happiness for making it through the day and fearfulness for what tomorrow may bring made for very poor long term memory.
5. Do something each day to better the future for the family, e.g., estate planning, distribute possessions, contact your pastor, open or close bank accounts, etc.
6. Make each day count. Achieving what is essentially a positive attitude is difficult as it is easy to be drawn down in the morass of the situation. This activity requires extreme mental discipline.
7. Take advantage of any counseling offered by the hospital or clinic.
8. Develop a network of support. We sent out 45-50 letters informing people of my diagnosis. As a result, each day’s mail brought something for me to look forward to. (Editor’s Note: This is an excellent example of where an electronic network like Caring Bridge would be helpful, Providence is currently in the process of linking up with this resource.)
9. Try to keep as near normal routine as possible in a situation in which everything has changed. We celebrated my 75^th birthday with a card party. I received over 100 cards in the mail. Once again, each day’s mail brought something to look forward to.

Have your own tips? Leave us a note in the comments!

You might also like:

• Introducing Jan Crawford, Breast Cancer Survivor
• Lynn's #1 lesson: There are no stupid questions
• Integrative care basics and what others are saying

Free Community Event at Mason General Hospital